The 5 Stages of Sleep Loss:
1. Denial: She was asleep! How did this happen? Did I really hear her cry? Maybe she was just whimpering in her sleep. Or maybe she will just lay herself back down in a minute and go to sleep. She isn't going to do this again tonight, she is too tired. It can't be my turn to go in and check on her...can it? I lay in my warm bed hoping that the crying will stop and she will go back to sleep.
But once you realize that they really are awake(or staying awake) and not going to put themselves back to sleep you enter stage 2:
2. Anger: You are angry at your husband for getting to stay in bed this time, angry that the floor is so cold, angry at your dog for snoring while being curled up in a warm ball on the couch, and angry at yourself for not doing a better job sleep training. Or at least this is my experience. (I hope I'm not the only mom that wonders if she has failed as a mother because her child doesn't sleep well!)
3. Bargaining: You bargain with your husband. Will you please go get our child? I will get up with her in the morning and let you sleep in? You bargain with your child (even if they can't understand you) If I rock you for 5 more minutes will you go back to sleep? You pray to God that He will help you get this beautiful baby He created to go to sleep. You become desperate. You will do anything if you can just get your child to go to sleep.
4. Depression: I don't know that I would call it being depressed, but at some point in all of this I definitely feel defeated. Especially if you are going on months of not getting a full nights sleep. Maybe you do feel depressed because you are so tired. All I know is I am worn out and sometimes feel like this will never end and that I will never have a good sleeper.
5. Acceptance: You have arrived. This is definitely the best place to be. You accept that you are up with them and you do whatever you need to do to comfort your precious baby and get them back to sleep. You realize that this is only for a short amount of time (it can't go on forever...right???) Your sweet baby will only be this small once and that this sickness or sleep regression or needing to eat during the night will eventually get better. You will help/comfort your child tonight because you are their mommy and that is what mommies do.
Maybe you move through these stages every night or maybe you have slowly been moving through them over the past months. Just know you are not alone. Your baby isn't the only one having trouble sleeping and you are not the only one exhausted. And your baby not sleeping well definitely does not mean you are a terrible parent. Get yourself a cup of something caffeinated and hang in there mama, you can do this!
