23 weeks update!

And BOOM! just like that I'm 23 weeks. I missed my picture at 22 weeks thanks to a local restaurant giving me and David food poisoning. You DO NOT want the details, but needless to say pictures were out of the question that week. Here is a comparison picture of me at 20 weeks. Am I the only one who thinks it looks like I added a whole extra baby in those 2 weeks? I promise it is still just twins.

     The past few weeks have been busy and for some reason the second I hit 22 weeks I started panicking. Probably because David said, "Oh wow, the furthest the dr will let you go is 16 more weeks". That comment right there kept me awake for hours thinking of everything we still need to get done. Luckily, we still have close to 16 weeks (praying they stay in there cooking for at least close to that long)

     So we've been working like crazy to start getting things ready. We have found a lot of used baby items and have had so many sweet friends give us things that they are no longer using! We bought a matching crib and have it up and in the room and we have moved the changing table in there as well. E is still in the other crib, but we will be moving her soon. E turns 2 in just a few weeks, which has made me even more emotional than the usual level of pregnancy emotions I carry around so be careful what you say around me. I could go off on, cry, or laugh at any moment. ;-)

    

    

Pregnancy Update: 1/2 Way!

Today I am 19 weeks. According to my Dr., that means I am half way to the furthest point we will allow these twins to go. The goal is to make it as close to 38 weeks as possible but she said we will not go past 38 weeks. It is truly amazing how fast the time is flying by this pregnancy. I guess when you are chasing around a toddler you lose track of time. It feels like just last week I was bringing my baby girl home and now I'm 19 weeks or less to bringing home 2 baby boys. I wanted to post a quick update and just talk about how this pregnancy has been different from my last (besides the obvious fact that there are 2 babies in there instead of one) and answer a few questions I often get from people.

(This photo is from 18 weeks. The left is current and the right one is from my last pregnancy. I did not look at the old picture when I made the new one, so apparently at 18 weeks is when my appetite really kicks in LOL )

Food cravings/aversions: I love eating fruit and cereal like last time. One new craving is that I love buffalo wing flavored things (I may have ate Buffalo Chicken Dip for lunch, but don't worry, I ate a salad and 2 mandarin oranges too) The only down side is that spicy food immediately gives me heartburn. As far as food aversions go I can NOT eat sweet potatoes for the life of me even though I usually love them. I also can't stand biting into onion chunks even if they are cooked. But for some reason on a sandwich red onion is ok. It is weird I know...but I really have no control over it.

Morning sickness: This has been the biggest difference between the 2 pregnancies. With E I felt sick off and on until about 15 or 16 weeks and if I ate something I usually felt better. My sickness would also get better as the day went on. This pregnancy, I started feeling sick within a week of finding out I was pregnant (which should have clued me in that it could be twins). The Dr. put me on Diclegis at night and that helped but didn't take it away. I also felt sick all day every day and it seemed to get worse as the day went on instead of better. Luckily, I am THRILLED to say that at around 17 weeks I was able to come off of the nausea meds and even though I have had a few short moments of feeling sick it is pretty much gone.

Belly Bump: My stomach is definitely getting big faster this time around! And due to that, I've had more back and ligament pain that before, but not really anything too bad yet. I know the picture above doesn't look like much of a difference but I can tell a big difference in the thickness of my waist, the spread of my hips, and the size of my stomach compared to last time. I've already gained 15 pounds so far (I only gained 25 with E the whole pregnancy) and I am always worried I'm gaining weight too fast, but so far the Dr. has said I'm on track for a twin pregnancy (she said should gain somewhere around 35 pounds).

Thoughts and Emotions: I am definitely more emotional this pregnancy. I know there are a lot of extra hormones floating around in my body right now so that explains a lot. I also think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I am adjusting to the change headed our way and dealing with a sweet, loving, but sometimes cranky almost 2 year old. Plus being pregnant and preparing for these babies makes me reminisce about how little E was and how fast she is growing and learning new things.

David is adjusting well to the idea of twins. He is such a planner and go getter that he was already talking about what we needed to buy/get rid of/ move around to fit these babies into our house the very same day we found out we were having twins! He has said that it still seems surreal that in a few months we will have 2 more babies here. On a side note, if he keeps calling me Big Mama or asks me again if the furniture is creaking when I sit down (he isn't being mean, he likes to joke) then he may spend the rest of this pregnancy on the couch ;-)

E's view of the pregnancy: E knows that there are babies in my stomach, but that is about all she understands right now. Some days she doesn't say anything about it and some days she wants to lift my shirt to talk to the babies multiple times(sometimes she tries to in public lol). She is such a sweet little girl and has done so many cute things lately but I'll just mention my 2 favorite so far:

1. the other night I had stickers out for her to play with and she insisted on putting some on my stomach "for babies" as she said. She had the best time sticking them to my belly and saying "share" to tell me she was sharing with them.

2. My back is usually sore by the end of the day lifting her, but the other day it was extra sore and so I told her Daddy would have to lift her in and out of the car because momma's back hurt. The rest of the night she kept talking about how my back hurt and then she would hug, kiss, and pat my back. It really was the sweetest thing! I know she is going to be such a great big sister to these boys and a big help to her momma.

Well there you go! We are slowly adjusting and preparing for these twins and we are very excited about the adventure ahead for our little, soon to be much bigger, family!

5K

      "Is this your first ultrasound? Well then I have a surprise for you!" These words from my ultrasound technician were not what I was expecting in the least and will forever be the beginning of the story of the twins.

     I still have a hard time believing our family is going from a family of 3 to 5 in a matter of a few months. My husband came up with the nickname 5K for our family. I liked the name for many reasons, but one being one of the last big things I did before getting pregnant with Emery was run my first 5k race with Special Kids. I'm not an avid runner, so training for a 5k was difficult for me and I spent many runs wondering how I was ever going to build up enough endurance to do a whole 5k (for you avid runners, I know this sounds silly, but for a girl who could barely run a mile it seemed like a lot at the time). One thing that doing a 5k taught me is that I could do more and push myself further than I thought I could go. That is what this miracle of having twins feels like right now. Like I'm being pushed beyond my limits. What if I can't handle 3 kids 2 and under? What if I'm not a good enough mommy? How will this change things financially with me being a SAHM?

     Luckily, I have a wonderful husband and a few good friends and family members who support me. They remind me how strong I am. They remind me that God gave us these precious children for a reason and that He knows that I will be the best mommy for them. And when I feel completely scared and overwhelmed they remind me that God never gives us more than we can handle. So in the end, I know that I will step up to the challenge and discover that the limits I thought I had were only fears that held me back.

The 5 Stages of Sleep Loss

The story goes like this: You go through the nightly sleep ritual with your baby: putting their sleeper on, reading a story, brushing your baby's teeth, nursing or rocking or whatever your nightly ritual is. You lay your sleepy angel down in their crib to let them fall asleep. Their sweet little yawns and closed eyes give you hope, but alas, it is false hope because they don't go to sleep. Instead their bright eyes pop open and they choose this time to practice their new skill of sitting up/standing/crawling. Or maybe they are sick and need extra cuddles. Or maybe they are just not sleepy at the moment. I don't know where you are but if this story sounds familiar you will understand (and hopefully get a laugh out of) what I'm about to write. You have lost something very precious to you...your sleep. I don't know about you but I love my sleep and grieve its loss. So here are the stages us moms go through.

The 5 Stages of Sleep Loss:

1. Denial:  She was asleep! How did this happen? Did I really hear her cry? Maybe she was just whimpering in her sleep. Or maybe she will just lay herself back down in a minute and go to sleep. She isn't going to do this again tonight, she is too tired. It can't be my turn to go in and check on her...can it? I lay in my warm bed hoping that the crying will stop and she will go back to sleep.

But once you realize that they really are awake(or staying awake) and not going to put themselves back to sleep you enter stage 2:

2. Anger: You are angry at your husband for getting to stay in bed this time, angry that the floor is so cold, angry at your dog for snoring while being curled up in a warm ball on the couch, and angry at yourself for not doing a better job sleep training. Or at least this is my experience. (I hope I'm not the only mom that wonders if she has failed as a mother because her child doesn't sleep well!)

3. Bargaining: You bargain with your husband. Will you please go get our child? I will get up with her in the morning and let you sleep in? You bargain with your child (even if they can't understand you) If I rock you for 5 more minutes will you go back to sleep? You pray to God that He will help you get this beautiful baby He created to go to sleep. You become desperate. You will do anything if you can just get your child to go to sleep.

4. Depression: I don't know that I would call it being depressed, but at some point in all of this I definitely feel defeated. Especially if you are going on months of not getting a full nights sleep. Maybe you do feel depressed because you are so tired. All I know is I am worn out and sometimes feel like this will never end and that I will never have a good sleeper.

5. Acceptance: You have arrived. This is definitely the best place to be. You accept that you are up with them and you do whatever you need to do to comfort your precious baby and get them back to sleep. You realize that this is only for a short amount of time (it can't go on forever...right???) Your sweet baby will only be this small once and that this sickness or sleep regression or needing to eat during the night will eventually get better. You will help/comfort your child tonight because you are their mommy and that is what mommies do.

Maybe you move through these stages every night or maybe you have slowly been moving through them over the past months. Just know you are not alone. Your baby isn't the only one having trouble sleeping and you are not the only one exhausted. And your baby not sleeping well definitely does not mean you are a terrible parent. Get yourself a cup of something caffeinated and hang in there mama, you can do this!

Holiday Pork Loin

Today I am sharing a new recipe that I tried out. I call it Holiday Pork Loin because it reminds me of Thanksgiving and Christmas with the onion mix and cranberry, but the website I found it on just calls it "Cranberry Onion Pork Loin". Best of all, it is SUPER easy. I mean like 3 ingredients in a crock pot easy. I always serve it with roasted sweet potatoes and it is one of our new favorites. The recipe is found here.

Ingredients:
-Pork Loin
-1 packet of onion soup mix
-1 can of cranberry sauce(whole berry kind)

Put pork loin in crock pot. Sprinkle onion mix on top. Spoon cranberry sauce over the loin and onion mix. And 1/8 to 1/4 cup of water. Cook on low for 6 to 8 hours and voila!

Give it a try and let me know what you think!

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is only a few days away. Many times people, myself included, do not take the time to stop and think of the things they are thankful for. I read a devotion the other day (here) that challenged it's readers to make a list of the things they are thankful for because we can get caught up in the daily "grind" and not realize how blessed we really are. So here you go (they are not in any particular order):

I'm thankful for my daughter sitting beside me. She is healthy, happy, and growing and for that I am extremely thankful. I'm thankful for every laugh and even the times she cries. I'm thankful that she made me and David parents. Being a mom is 10 times more difficult than I ever thought it would be, but I also never knew the joy or love I would feel as a parent.

I'm thankful for the dirty dishes downstairs in the sink and for the meal that was on them.

I'm thankful for my husband, who has seen me at my best and my worst, and still loves me. I'm thankful he is such a wonderful provider for our family and that he loves to help take care of our daughter. I'm thankful that he knows that being a mom is hard work and stressful and worrisome. I'm thankful he is there to help me, tell me to relax and have more faith that God will take care of it all.

I'm thankful for friends who understand that I will have my baby with me and still invite me out to lunch or offer to come over to my house just to spend time with me. I'm also thankful for friends who understand I might need a night out and invite me to go out with the girls or go to the movies.

I'm thankful for the wonderful family that I have. They are always willing to help and I have loved seeing them become grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. I'm thankful for them supporting me as a parent even when my choices are not the ones they would have made.

I'm thankful for the dog hair and slobber on my couch (even though some days it makes me mad) and for the dog who causes that hair and slobber. She is such a good dog (most of the time at least) and has adjusted so well to having a new little person in the house

I'm thankful for the pile of laundry that is awaiting me because I have clothes to wear and a washing machine to wash them in. I'm also thankful for the dryer.

I'm thankful for a roof over my head and a bed to lay down in.

I'm thankful that my parents raised me to love God. I'm thankful for all of the memories I have with my parents and my sister and brother.

I'm thankful for my small group and the years we have been together. I'm thankful for their listening ears and for challenging me to be a better person and to dig deeper into God's Word.

I'm thankful for family who aren't really family, but people who I consider family. The ones who you forget that you are not blood related to because they have become such an important part of your life.

I'm thankful for the hard moments I have experienced. The ones that I never thought I would get over or through but that with God's help I did overcome and have grown so much in the process.

I'm thankful for those moments that I did not follow my mommy instinct and then hated myself after. I'm thankful that it has taught me that God really has given me everything I need to be the parent Emery needs even when I feel like I'm not enough.

I'm thankful for chocolate and sweet tea.

I'm thankful for a husband who lets me sleep the extra half hour and gets up early with the baby.

Most of all, I'm thankful for my salvation. I'm thankful that God would take His precious child and sacrifice Him for me so that I can spend eternity with Him. I'm thankful He is my Savior, my Comforter, my Father, and my God.


So there is my list. I'm sure there are MANY more things that I am forgetting, but those are the ones I have thought of today. If anyone is reading this, I hope that you take time at some point in this week to think of the things you are thankful for as well. Happy Thanksgiving!

*photo credit goes to Jennifer Wood (thank you for the wonderful pictures!)

Fall is here

I love fall! Especially the few days of perfect weather we get here in TN before it turns wet and cold for the winter. Today is one of those nice fall days. A little cold for my liking, but sunny and beautiful. So for my small group tonight I decided to try the 2 ingredient pumpkin cupcakes. The recipe is for a cake, but I just cut the cooking time down to 20 minutes and kept a close eye on them.  I HAD to sample one to make sure they tasted ok...they are delicious! And so easy to make. 

No eggs, no oil, no water....just a package of spice cake mix and a can of pumpkin (not pumpkin pie). The only problem I ran into is that the batter is incredibly thick so unlike a normal cupcake it did not settle into a pretty rounded top and, since it is so thick, it only made about 16 cupcakes. Next time I think I will just take a spoon and smooth the tops down so that I don't have lumpy tops. Luckily, the cream cheese frosting easily covers it up :-) Enjoy!